#please heed the tags on this

[crime-wives]

nobody warns you before the fall

She hiccups, voice caught on a sob. “I’m sorry, I don't- I don’t have anyone else to call.”

“Lena?” There’s confusion, concern too. “What’s wrong?”

Kara still knows her too well even after all this time.

Her voice wobbles when she speaks, “You’re the most important person in my life, you know that, right Kara?”

Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor 1.1k 1/1

read on ao3

[maphel-n-doodles]

Commissioned by @lycentropy for the first chapter of their fic I'd Do Anything For You (And I Mean Anything)

[last-starry-sky]

kinktober day 14 - makeup sex

price x f!reader

[MDNI - NSFW - MIND THE WARNINGS: 1.2k, established relationship, mentions of fighting (nothing physical), NONCON: somno, nipple-play, dry-humping, fingering.]

tag list (lmk if you'd like to be added!): @slut-lmao, @mishaglass

“Fuck off,” had been the last thing you yelled at him, tears in your eyes as you slammed the door in his face. Maybe if you hadn’t been so heated, brain a tempest of emotion, heart pounding in your chest, throat hoarse from a long shouting match, you would have noticed how eerily calm he had become. You stood in the entryway catching your breath, waiting for him to start shouting outside, to pound on the door. Something. Anything.

All you heard was his car start and then cooly drive away. No slammed doors. No revved engine. No tires peaching away. You swallowed hard, still gasping at air as you let your back fall against the cool metal of the door. For the next few minutes you waited like that. Waited for him to come back, for the sound of his engine rumbling back up the driveway, for him to demand you open the door, for you to talk to him. 

But that never happened. You wiped your tears away and got on with the shameful task of cleaning up the house after your fight. You went room by room. You swept up plaster dust from the hole John had punched in the kitchen wall and glass from he candle you’d smashed in the bathroom. The clean up didn’t take long, but it left you emotionally exhausted. Your heart still thrummed in your chest, adrenaline flushing your cheeks. 

You knew you should get the hard part over with, should get packing his things and maybe send him a text to let him know when to pick everything up. Maybe you could even convince him to leave his key too. You huffed as you stared at your disheveled reflection in the mirror. You should be an adult about this, but you didn’t want to. You wanted to shower and curl up in bed and forget this whole mess. You had a silent hope he would just ghost you, but you laughed at it. Men, actual mature men with careers, didn’t do shit like that.

You couldn’t remember a time you’d been this tired. You snuggled up with a pillow in your arms (not John’s, certainly not) and fell into a death-like sleep. 

The mattress creaking under his bulk in the middle of the night gave him away. It scared you, and for a moment you considered confronting him, trying to get away, maybe calling the police. Not that you could do anything now. Even if you tried, you would have to scramble out from under the sheets and try to bolt for the door before he could intercept you. As he lay down at your side, you steeled yourself, ready to endure. There was no point in running, and you knew it. 

You kept your eyes closed and steadied your breathing, pretending to sleep. He shuffled up behind you, pulling you into his arms to spoon against his chest. You could feel his heart beating. His hands were gentle on your arms, stroking continuously over your shower soft skin. His face pressed into the crown of your head, breath ruffling your hair, breathing in your shampoo. All gentle, stupid things he had done early in your relationship. Things you had spat in anger not five hours ago that he never did anymore. 

“Don’t want to fight,” he whispered, kissing behind your ear, making you shiver, as he continued to massage your arms. “Don’t want to lose you. Love you.” 

You didn’t respond, only clutched your pillow to your chest and metered your breathing. He wasn’t drunk from what you could smell, which was strange. You could usually only get him to say “I love you” when he had a few pints in him. There was maybe a hint of that pungent cigar smoke, most likely from hotboxing in his car, something that you loathed, as he continued to whisper sweet nothings in your ear. 

“Love you, baby. Love you so much. Don’t want-” He stopped to suck in a shuddering breath, hand clenching on your bicep. “Don’t want this to be the end. We’re stronger than this.” He nuzzled your neck, beard pricking your skin, forcing an involuntary shiver. 

“Come on, love. Talk to me,” he grumbled, one rough hand on your jaw forcing your head to face him. You stubbornly kept your eyes closed. You weren’t going to give him an inch. You knew better.

He proved you right immediately, reaching down to stroke at your breasts, kneading at your perked nipples. You don’t think he saw your brows scrunch together in frustration, trying your hardest to suppress any reaction or sound. He was too busy pressing his face to yours, huffing long, tired breaths over your heated skin. You bit your lip when his other hand began to pet your pussy, working you up just the way you liked it. The way only he could. 

“You asleep?” he asked. Your mostly impassive face must not have been a bother for him, because he groaned against your lips while his hands plucked at your buds, core dripping around his fingers. 

“Please, lovie,” he whined, planting a delicate kiss over your lips. The contrast of his butterfly-light kiss with the thrust of his trapped cock against your hip was not lost on you. “Please just, fuck- lookit me. Lemme-” he groaned again, his fingers swirling against the soaked cloth of your underwear in time with his thrusts. “Lemme make this right.”

You remained rigid, holding onto your pillow until John apparently had enough. He ripped it out of your grasp, making your arms fall to your chest. The next thing you felt was him rolling over you, his thick, muscled thigh taking the place of his hand pressed to your sopping core, the dry skin of his fingers tracing over your cheek and jaw.

“Baby. Love. Please,” he pleaded, a gentle kiss following each word until he met your lips. His hand on your jaw pressed into your cheek, forcing your mouth open. Your eyes shot open in shock as he pressed into your mouth, lapping and sucking at your own languid tongue. He groaned, rolling his clothed hips against yours.

“Can feel you,” he whispered, a dark edge, like a threat, in his voice as he broke from his kiss. “So wet. Always so wet for me,” he continued, fingers fumbling to pull your underwear to the side, exposing your hole to him. Two of his thick fingers were quickly thrust inside you. His mouth pressed to your ear, making you hear every wanton noise he made. 

“Easier if you just listened to your cunt, lovie,” he growled in your ear, punctuating his statement with a bite on the lobe of your ear and a curl of his fingers inside you. He landed with perfect placement right on the spot that always had you shuddering, crying and begging to cum. “She knows what she wants. Knows I can give it to her. Smart little thing.”

You opened your eyes again, tears blurring your vision. John kissed your cheek, purring as he thrust against the push of your hip again. 

“Theeeere’s my smart girl,” he said, voice all smiles and sing-song, as his thumb swiped a circle around your clit, his fingers pumping again.

[muzzlemouths]

[phoenixmetaphor]

traditional sketches to prove i am not dead.

[artificergorgug]

I wrote a 20k college years Fabian adopts his half sister fic feat. FabRiz qpr with FabMazey poly partners, Fig reconnecting with her friends, disabled/chronically in pain teacher Gorgug, nonbinary community leader Kristen, and what the system can do for you Adaine for those interested

[sward-detcader]

Currently working on a photo set for @cordeliawhohung ‘s Touch Me Till I Vomit, aka the Pet!AU. More explanation about the piece is below the cut!

HEED THE TAGS AND IMAGE ID, MDNI

[ID] Soap stands behind Bonnie, his hand tightly holding her face/neck. Bonnie is very obviously in distress, crying, with bruises marking her shoulders and chest. Though not on screen, Soap’s gun shot wound is implicated with blood running down his face and dripping onto Bonnie’s shoulders.

[TAGS] If you don’t like Pet!AU you are not going to like this art. Keep scrolling, themes of abuse, blood, bruises, bite marks, collars, crying, DEAD DOVE: DO NOT EAT

I’ve been a horror fan for a while now, and especially psychological horror. Core’s AU has really tickled a brain worm for me, this fic has literally kept me awake at night after I first read it. I cannot express how infatuated I am with the horror element, if this was a movie I would be in the theater opening night. It gives me the same thrill movies like The Black Phone and Silence of the Lambs has. I just… god. Yeah. You don’t get a lot of fic writers who are willing to completely delve into the horror side and who are steadfast in their goal and who don’t bend when people are trying to push and pull them to make it more romantic. I love this, and I adore Core.

There are some things that I really tried to incorporate into the piece. I know typically if a mouth is overly detailed or teeth are shown individually it can induce a feeling of discomfort. I also wanted to really highlight the idea of Soap being a dog in this fic, hence the exaggerated canines and the bite mark. I know the color of the collars aren’t accurate to the fic, but in order to make them stand out with the deep red color pallet I opted to make the black more blue leaning than red/brown as one might see in a typical leather collar. I knew, especially after the most recent chapter, that I had to include Soap’s GSW somehow as that’s a key element as to how he also became a victim. I’ll probably do a more expansive breakdown of the art and its meaning later, but rn I need to get to work lol. Please share thoughts on this piece if you’re willing, negative and positive! I’m always looking to improve!

[sergeantgoggles]

Lemon Yellow - poly batch <3

Whew. Anon, you really know how to pick 'em.

3800+ words later....

Tags/TW: Polybatch, Emotionally Intelligent Wrecker, Poly Negotiations, Pre-Order 66, Body Dysmorphia, Slightly Graphic Depictions of Cybernetics and Skin, Depression, Trauma, Nightmares, Echo Crying, Mentions of Former Poly Torrent Company (Rex/Fives/Echo/Jesse/Kix/Hardcase/Tup/Dogma), Grief/Loss, Neurodivergent Tech, Implied Neurodivergent Hunter, Happy Ending on Pabu, 10 Years later, Gay Old Men, Canon Compliant Hand Loss for Crosshair, Tech was CX-2, Batcher and Teenage Omega

Lemon Yellow: How does the first kiss go? (+2 Bonus kisses)

“I saw you and Hunter the other night,” Echo mentioned casually as he handed Tech a spanner wrench. He watched as Tech give him a quick, unconcerned look and went about his business.

“We are in an established relationship,” he replied matter-of-factly, as though it should have been common knowledge that Echo could have simply looked up on the comm chatter.

Echo was new to Clone Force 99. It wasn’t his place to judge them for anything, and it wasn’t like he hadn’t also been in a relationship with another clone or experimented with one before. Still, he chose his next words carefully, afraid that he might know too much now.

“…I also saw him with Crosshair this morning.”

That did give Tech pause, and he sighed with a bit of exasperation. “Look, Echo, I do not know how to tell you this gently, so I will simply be upfront with you. The truth is that the four of us, Hunter, Crosshair, Wrecker, and myself, are in a polyamorous relationship.”

Echo let the words sink in. He knew what they meant, and he knew sort of how it worked. Torrent Company worked similarly. There were obvious pairs, like himself and Fives, and Jesse and Kix, but they were sort of just, all together, the eight of them. So, the four members of the Bad Batch being in such a relationship wasn’t something that Echo was necessarily new to, but…

“You seem perplexed by this,” Tech teased lightly as he set the spanner wrench aside for now. “Perhaps if I explain—”

“No, no, that’s not it. I know what it is,” Echo defended. “I guess I just didn’t think that that sort of relationship was a clone thing.”

“As opposed to what?” Tech inquired with interest.

If nothing else, Tech was at least treating it delicately, if not forwardly. Echo appreciated that he didn’t try to sugarcoat it for him. He knew it was a little…weird…to explain to some people. Even some people in the GAR had a hard time wrapping their heads around it, so it was always more simple to tell people he was with Fives, instead of having six other boyfriends.

“My old squad…”

“The five hundred and first?”

“Yeah, Torrent Company specifically, we were…you know.”

Tech seemed to brighten at that, but why, Echo could only speculate. Maybe he was just happy that he didn’t have to keep sneaking around anymore, but to be honest, it sort of made Echo feel left out. For now, he swept the idea under the rug.

“I see. Do you miss that sort of dynamic?”

Echo pretended to think about it, but the reality was yeah, he really did. He hardly gave his remaining squad a chance to make him feel welcomed back, afraid of what they would think of him, maybe. Even he didn’t know some days, but he knew that this was where he needed to be, at least for now.

“Yeah, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t miss flopping onto a rack after hitting the showers and there would just be someone there to keep me company,” Echo sighed.

Tech had a curious look in his eyes as he adjusted his goggles. It was obvious that he was thinking hard about something from the way he nibbled on the pout of his bottom lip, and Echo couldn’t help the intrusive thought.

‘He’s so cute.’

With barely even a second to process the thought, Echo’s eyes flew open wide as Tech’s lips connected with his. Immediately, his cheeks darkened, but he settled quickly into the kiss. Tech’s lips were softer than he’d imagined they would be, not that he made a habit of imagining his lips, but sometimes…

Echo hadn’t expected it to go much further, but Tech’s fingers brushed his cheek, fleeting and soft, gloved hand coated in a sheen of grease from the Marauder catching on the stubble that had grown in. He sighed, giving in to feeling someone else’s lips for the first time since—

Fives. The first time since Fives.

Abruptly, Echo leaned away, eyes conflicted as he turned his gaze away from Tech’s imploring look.

“I…am sorry for assuming that you would—”

Echo quickly shook his head. “It’s not that. I liked it, a lot.”

It was as though Echo could feel the heat and hurt radiating from Tech’s stare, and he forced himself to look at him, even though all he really wanted in that moment was to forget the pain of Fives being gone and for Tech to kiss him again. “I’m sorry, Tech. I just…haven’t kissed anyone in a long time. It took me by surprise.”

Tech pondered his words, then, “did I misunderstand?”

This was getting complicated. “No, actually, I want to kiss you again, but I don’t know where the others stand, and I don’t want to come between anyone. That’s not how a polycule works.”

“Ah, I see,” Tech seemed to ease up a little after that and sat back to work on the ship again. “If that is your concern, then I will talk to the others. You are right, it should be discussed.”

Echo smiled and touched the greasy streak on his cheek fondly before he stood. Giddiness coursed through him, but he was also nervous about what was to come. All he could do was hope for the best. In the meantime, he needed to sort out his feelings about Fives, as well as those that remained in his previous situationship. There were a lot of factors to consider, but maybe this wasn’t so bad.

Besides, kissing Tech again would definitely be on the top of his list to do again as soon as possible.

.

“WHAT?”

“Stop that,” Tech scoffed and rolled his eyes. “This hardly warrants that kind of reaction.”

“You should have come to us first,” Hunter sighed, but he was far less condescending than Wrecker’s outburst had been.

“As if you’re actually bothered by it,” Crosshair quipped as he cleaned the barrel of his rifle. “You’ve been looking Echo up and down since he first stepped onto the Marauder.”

Tech looked between them with a smirk as Hunter’s cheeks lit up.

“WHAT?” Wrecker boomed again.

“Enough,” Crosshair drawled in his direction. “We’ve all thought about it. You’re just mad that Tech made the first move.”

“You’re not mad about it?” Hunter asked and kicked his legs up on Crosshair’s lap. There was a sneer on Crosshair’s lips that said he wanted to knock them off, but he didn’t, instead continuing to detail his weapon.

“No,” he answered, and his eyes flicked to Tech’s, “but I want to know what Echo tastes like.” The suggestive tone didn’t go unnoticed, and Tech appropriately blushed as Crosshair licked his lips. “Why kiss me when you could just go kiss him yourself?”

Setting his rifle aside, Crosshair hummed. “You’re right.”

He stood, now knocking Hunter’s feet off his lap with a smack, and he leaned over the pilot’s seat to steal a less heated kiss from Tech’s lips. “Good thinking, Ace.”

“Hey, that’s my nickname for him,” Hunter pouted.

Tech’s flush darkened further as he was fought over, but the argument died when Crosshair kissed Hunter on his way out of the cockpit.

.

“Heard you had a run in with Tech.”

Echo looked up from where he was swinging from the sling strung up by the gunner’s mount, setting his datapad aside. “If you mean he kissed me, yeah. Didn’t get him in trouble, did it?”

Crosshair chuckled and crossed his arms. “Not especially, but it took us by surprise.”

“Why’s that?” Echo inquired, eyes curious as he took in Crosshair’s relaxed posture.

“Well, Tech usually isn’t the type to make the first move, even with us,” he explained, and Echo could feel the heat starting to rise in his cheeks. “You must really wind him up.”

As Crosshair leaned into his space, Echo found himself shifting to meet him. “Only him? Or can I get a rise out of you, too?”

There was barely a beat between them before Crosshair ghosted his lips over Echo’s, and they were gone as fast as they came. Echo chased them, but Crosshair was quicker. “You sure you’re okay with this?” Crosshair asked, eyes darting over Echo’s parted lips.

Echo faltered and leaned back into his sling. Was he okay with this? He had told Tech that he needed space to think, but was that only an excuse to make him talk to the others? Sighing, Echo shook his head. It wasn’t fair to leave Crosshair hanging.

“Hn, so you do have some baggage,” the sniper stood, giving Echo some breathing room.

“I haven’t kissed anyone since my last squad,” Echo defended with a scowl.

Crosshair quirked an eyebrow. “You kissed Tech.”

“And I told him the same thing,” Echo shot back, “and he kissed me, for the record.”

This was getting nowhere fast, and Crosshair seemed to see the same thing. Quietly, he stepped back and crossed his arms again, effectively shielding himself from whatever feelings he was keeping locked away. Inwardly, Echo winced. He hadn’t meant to come off like he was rejecting him, or any of them, for that matter.

“Crosshair, I—”

“It’s fine,” he clipped coolly, “but don’t make a habit of kissing my partners if you can’t get yourself sorted.”

Echo bristled, but averted his eyes, staring a hole into the side of the ship. Maybe he hoped it would swallow him up and he wouldn’t have to confront his feelings yet. That sounded nice. He heard Crosshair’s footfalls and listened as they grew distance, disappearing once again into the cockpit, seemingly to tell the others about being turned down.

Frustrated, Echo slipped his legs up into his sling and turned onto his side, facing away from where the others were gathered. Maybe this had been a mistake after all. He should call Rex and rendezvous with him. At least Rex still wanted him, and Jesse and Kix were still there to keep him from running away with his thoughts.

Hardcase had sacrificed himself.

Dogma was arrested.

Tup had suffered and died from what was being reported as a ‘mental relapse.’

…Fives was shot and killed for knowing too much.

How was he supposed to just pretend like each and every loss didn’t feel like a gaping hole being scraped out of his chest?

.

“Echo…? Echo?”

A large hand shook his shoulder, startling him awake. The jolt as he sat up nearly tipped the sling, but a body beside him kept it from dumping him onto the durasteel floor.

“Wrecker?” Echo questioned, his own voice unrecognizable to him. He lifted his flesh hand to his cheek and frowned when he felt the dampness of hot tears on his fingers. Damn it. “Sorry,” he continued, shame coloring his features. It wasn’t uncommon for soldiers to cry in their sleep, though the nightmares were more common with shinies. He was usually better at hiding it, though. “I’m fine. Go back to sleep.”

Wrecker fidgeted but made no move to go back to his rack. Worry was etched into his scarred face, and Echo didn’t have the temperament to be gentle about it.

“I said don’t—”

“Yeah, I heard you,” Wrecker murmured, “but I don’t believe you.”

Echo huffed and curled his cybernetic knees up to his chest. It was weird to try and hug them close. Metal dug into his skin, and it was uncomfortable to try and lay his forehead on top of the joints. More tears pooled in his eyes. Damn the Techno Union for saving him. He should have been left to die, march on like the rest of the Dominoes, like most of his partners…

Not be held together by fused skin and whirring parts like the monster that he is.

The sob that left him was quiet, but he might as well have been screaming the way Wrecker wrapped his arms around him and softly quieted his wails. It was weird, the way he could feel the ports in his head sinking into Wrecker’s chest, how tenderly Wrecker’s thumb grazed the skin where his scomp was connected to. Weird, but Wrecker held him like it was the most normal thing in the galaxy.

“…You don’t have to,” Echo sniffed. “I know what I am.”

Wrecker frowned. “I don’t. What do you think you are?”

Echo could have actually screamed. “I’m a freak, Wrecker. I’m more droid than human. I shouldn’t even be alive.”

His words must have struck something deep, because Wrecker sat back enough to grip Echo’s chin and gently force their gazes to meet. There was a softness in his eyes that wasn’t pity, though there was a bit of that despite how much he’d tried to keep it at bay, but understanding and compassion. Their noses brushed, and Echo let him press their lips together, firm, but chaste, with no hidden motives, the kind of kiss that was reassuring and grounding. It was the kind of kiss that reminded Echo of Hardcase after a mission with heavy casualties, kissing all of them and remining them that they’re all okay, they all made it. It was the kind of kiss that Echo gave Tup when he got into it with Dogma, promising him that they would make up and things would be okay.

It was the kind of kiss that Fives gave him their first night in the five hundred and first barracks, after they were extracted from Rishi, when they didn’t have any answers, but they had one another, and that was enough.

“We all have scars,” Wrecker whispered against his lips. “Some are small and hidden, and sometimes they’re big and obvious, but it’s how you wear them that makes the difference. For what it’s worth, I think yours are beautiful.”

Echo gasped, lip trembling slightly. It was the only time someone looked at him and thought that what was left of him was beautiful. No, not what was left, what he was. Wrecker thought he was beautiful as he was, even with the inconvenience of being mostly machine. It felt…well, it felt really nice to be thought of that way, even if he didn’t see it. So, he said the only thing he could in response and kissed him again.

“Thank you.’

.

Stars hung in the black sky and the moons of Pantora were high in the sky when Echo heard someone emerge from the racks. Normally, he wouldn’t pay any mind to it. It was likely Tech pattering around because he couldn’t turn his brain off. So, he continued to stare out the window from the co-pilot’s seat. That seemed to be where he fit in the best, and he and Tech worked well together.

He wasn’t expecting the glide of a bare hand on the back of his neck, massaging gently. Turning his head, surprise caught his features. “Hunter?”

“I wanted to apologize about earlier,” the sergeant said and took up Tech’s seat. “We should have been open about the nature of our relationship, and Crosshair had no right to kick you out because he wanted some action.”

Echo sighed. He’d almost successfully forgotten why he hadn’t been asleep in his sling between Tech and Wrecker’s racks. Crosshair had exiled him to the cockpit if he didn’t want to join in…activities. To Echo’s credit, it wasn’t that he didn’t want to participate, but having group sex was a hell of a first time with a new body, and he wasn’t sure he was ready for all that yet. Instead of torturing himself by staying to watch, he’d voluntarily left. Had he really been gone that long?

Judging by the way Hunter’s hair was mussed and the vaguely dark marks on his neck, he was certain that if nothing else, Hunter had gotten to partake in some activities.

“It’s fine,” Echo told a half truth. It was, to an extent, but he wished he had been brave enough to join them.

Hunter nodded, wringing his hands together. A nervous thing, Echo noticed. He was like Tech in a way, needing something to occupy his hands most of the time. It wasn’t as severe as Tech’s compulsions, but it was enough to draw Echo’s attention. Carefully, Echo reached over and took on of Hunter’s hands in his own. Immediately, Hunter latched onto it, tracing the lines of his fingers, pressing lightly on his palm, no doubt feeling his heartbeat through his veins. It seemed to calm him, though, and Echo smiled.

“I…understand why you didn’t want to join,” Hunter started, “but you should know that your cybernetic parts don’t bother us, and that despite our own feelings, we respect that you still have feelings for your old squad.”

Echo’s eyes softened. They really had been talking about him, but it wasn’t in the way that he’d thought they were. Not that he thought they were those kinds of people, but he had been so down on himself…it was easier to put the blame on someone else than face himself.

“Most of my old squad is gone,” Echo said aloud, maybe for the first time since he’d boarded the Marauder, “and the ones that remain…well, two of them were already together when we formed the polycule.”

“So, you were left out,” Hunter finished.

“Not really,” Echo shook his head. “They wanted to try…but I’m not the same as I was then, and I didn’t give them the chance to know me as I am now.”

Hunter hummed, still lazily outlining Echo’s fingers as though he were committing the way they felt to memory. “What about us? Think we might have a shot?”

A beat of silence fell between them as Echo considered the question. Was that what he wanted, to be part of another polycule? He certainly hadn’t wanted to assume that they wanted him in that capacity, but the last few days have proved that, if anything, they were willing to try. All of the pieces were there, most of them already put together, all that was missing was the final piece.

Hunter lifted Echo’s hands to his lips and kissed it, careful and deliberate. “You don’t have to give us an answer right now, but the offer is on the table. All you have to do is take it.”

He stood, letting Echo retract his hand, and winked before returning to the rest of his squad, of his polycule, the polycule they all wanted Echo to be a part of. Echo watched his retreating back for a few seconds before he stood abruptly.

“Hunter?”

Yes, he wanted to be a part of this, of them. He wanted someone to love, and for someone to love him, and he was going to find it here, with the Bad Batch.

Hunter turned just as Echo closed the gap between them, kissing him with so much need and longing that it took Hunter’s breath away, and he backed himself up against the console to steady the both of them. Hot, open-mouthed kisses left Echo gasping, and his hand shook as he tangled his fingers into Hunter’s hair, pulling him closer, flush to the line of his body.

It was only the soft clearing of someone’s throat that forced them apart and left them panting for breath. Echo blushed a beautiful shade of red as Tech watched them sheepishly.

“It’s not what it looks like,” Hunter teased.

“That is a shame,” Tech said with a small, crooked smile. “I was rather enjoying the show.”

“Then you shouldn’t have interrupted,” Echo smirked as Tech crowded into his space. This time, Echo was ready and kissed him with as much passion as he had Hunter. Tech became weak at his knees, forcing Hunter to hold him up, and Echo quickly decided that he could get used to this.

It wasn’t the same as being with the five hundred and first, but Echo didn’t want it to be. He would always love his former squads, but this new one wasn’t half bad. He hoped they would be around for a long time.

.

 10 YEARS LATER

Waves crashed on the beach, shifting the sands below. Over time, Echo knew that this place would eventually change. Erosion would claim it, or nature would, but in this moment, it would always remain as it was.

Beside him, Crosshair sat amongst the grain. He didn’t complain about sand getting everywhere anymore, even when it got caught in his cybernetic hand. Next to him, Wrecker slept, head on Crosshair’s shoulder, not so much as budging when the waves licked his toes. Their hands were entwined, soft and familiar, and Crosshair idly stroked it with his thumb as he watched the sun begin its descent into the sea.

Out in the water, Tech watched the horizon as though he were looking for something. Echo could tell he was talking but couldn’t make out what he was saying over the waves. Hunter, though, hugged him from behind and nodded along to whatever Tech told him, and took every opportunity to kiss his cheek, his neck, anywhere he could reach. Never again would Hunter let Tech out of his sight, or go where he couldn’t follow, not after Eriadu and Tantiss.

It took them a long time, but finally, they were all where they were meant to be, together.

Something broke over the horizon, and Echo grinned as Tech waved to those who were waiting on the shore. Crosshair nudged Wrecker awake, but the way that Wrecker was on his feet and waving in an instant, no one would have ever known if not for the drool on his chin. As a ship sped into the cove nearby, Tech and Hunter trudged back through the water and waited patiently for the ship’s captain to emerge.

“Hey! I’m back!”

Omega waved as she ran across the beach to them, beaming proudly as Batcher trailed behind her. No longer did Echo have to kneel to be on her level, and she easily leapt into his arms, still not quite tall enough to keep her feet on the ground. Echo caught her easily and hugged her tightly. This was her first solo flight, to Lothal to bring supplies to a small rebel cell and back, and as far as he could tell, she had been successful. They had known that they couldn’t keep her out of the fight forever, even though they’d all wished they’d had a little more time with her. After all, Omega wasn’t just their sister, but their kid. They raised her.

“Welcome home, Havoc 5,” Echo murmured as he set her back onto her feet.

Omega smiled and leaned up to kiss his cheek. That…was new, not unwelcomed, but definitely new.

“It’s good to be home.”

[whimsicalish]

Sienna finds comfort in the strangest place.  

around 2k words

Cw for suicidal thoughts and ideation, implied death. There are references to the previous movies and Art is his own warning. Sienna isn't having a good time. 

- 

Fair warning- I do not consider myself to be a writer. I just couldn't get this idea out of my head and i thought i could try. So here is my attempt. This fic isn't meant to be shippy and it'd be appreciated if it wasn't viewed that way.

On that note: English isn't my native language so i apologize for any possible errors and mistakes.

-

Sienna's life was left in shambles after that Christmas night. Her uncle was gutted and nailed to their kitchen wall, her aunt was dead in the living room and Gabbie was gone. And Jonathan- she didn't want to think about him. She doesn't think she could handle it right now.  

Her wounds slowly stitched themselves together. Sienna felt numb. She was covered in blood; she was shaking both from the shock of the events that just unfolded, and from the cold. 

The cold breeze from the opened window reminded her that he was still out there, that he got away. The sadistic fuck who ruined her life was still alive and he was who knows where. Sienna wanted to scream. She wanted to scream and cry and tear her hair out- but she felt too exhausted to move. She felt too exhausted to do anything. 

She sat on the floor, staring ahead at nothing. She doesn't know how long she sat there, but it felt like she had been there for years. 

- 

Life moved on, but Sienna couldn’t. She got the house and all their belongings. She was the only surviving relative. She felt like her life was slipping past her, she felt like everything was moving and she was stuck in place.  

She was on a treadmill but she couldn’t get up, she couldn’t get her legs under her and stand up and run.  

Sienna felt... defeated. What did she have left? What did she have left to live for? 

Her therapist told her she needed to get out and start a new life. She told her she needed to find people to talk to- to find new friends, but Sienna couldn’t. She didn't know how to talk to people. She was paranoid and she was terrified still. Art was still out there, he was still alive, and Sienna knew it was just a matter of time before he came after her again. She wouldn't get anyone else involved. She couldn't bear the thought of being responsible for another death.  

Her therapist was nice. She was nice but Sienna didn't know how to open up. She didn't know how she could talk about the things that happened. She didn't know what she would even say. She didn't know why she decided to even go to therapy. She knew no one would be able to help her. She knew she couldn't talk about the things that actually happened- she knew she could never talk about the whole “demon” thing nor the immortal thing. 

She thought maybe if she had someone there to just talk to her it would help. Maybe she thought that she would be able to talk about it with someone at least a little bit- maybe she hoped she would be able to open up to someone- but she didn’t see herself making any progress.  

She was wasting the therapists time.  

It was almost a year.  

Siennas life was taken from her, and she didn't know how to get back on her feet. She missed her brother. She missed Jonathan. She wanted him back. 

Christmas was coming again, and Sienna didn’t know if she would be able to handle it. Both Halloween and Christmas were ruined for her. Now all she could think about when she saw cute or creepy decorations was Art. Whenever she heard a Christmas song or any sort of Christmas carol, she felt like she couldn't breathe. She felt like she was back in the terrifier, she felt like she was back in her aunt's living room, tied to a chair, forced to watch those two murder her remaining family. 

It was suffocating. Everything reminded her of the clown, everything around her reminded her of her dead family. She couldn’t stop thinking about the face of her auntie just before she got murdered, she couldn’t stop thinking about Gabbies terrified expression when Art dragged her into the room, she couldn’t stop thinking about seeing her slip with the sword deep into the pit-  

She couldn’t stop imagining all the horrendous details, she couldn’t stop thinking about all the blood and the gore around her- the thick smell of all the blood making her sick to her stomach. She couldn’t get the smell out of her nose for weeks, still feeling like her nose was stuffed with all the blood of her now dead family. She would never forget the stench of blood and gore- she would never forget the smell of her family's blood. 

Everything felt so overwhelming and underwhelming at the same time and she didn’t know what to do, how to function. 

Most of her days were spent sitting at home, stuck in her own mind. She was struggling the five years after the first time she encountered Art, and she was finally starting get better, but now- now she went through the same thing again and she felt like she couldn't do anything. She lost everything and everyone again and she didn't know if it was even possible to move on from something like that. How do you move past that amount of trauma? How do you deal with something like that?  

Sienna wanted nothing more than to just go back to her old life. 

Getting groceries at the mall used to be a normal, casual and an easy task. Now, however, it felt overwhelming. She was scared, constantly looking over her shoulders and checking around to make sure he wasn’t there- that he wasn’t watching her, that he wasn’t waiting for her somewhere. Sienna knew for sure that he was out there, and it was just a matter of time before he got her. 

She couldn’t help the anxiety creeping up on her every time she left the house, every time someone passed by her that she couldn’t see, every time she felt someone brush against her. Sienna hated feeling so scared and being so skittish. She felt like a wild animal sometimes.  

- 

Sienna stood frozen. He was there. He was right there, in her kitchen, making hot chocolate out of all things. The man who ruined her life, the man who killed everyone she ever cared about- the man who traumatized her- standing in her kitchen, making hot chocolate. The sweet smell of the warm liquid almost made her want to throw up.

She thought back to last year when he was standing there, nailing her uncles dead and decapitated body to the wall.  

She felt like crying. She wanted to scream and yell, she wanted to get angry, she wanted to dash for a knife and stab him, she wanted to run it through his heart and gut him herself, she wanted to skin him alive and ask him how it felt. She wanted to make him scream and she wanted to hear his voice. She wanted to hear him be in pain. (She wasn’t sure if he even could talk, but the thought of making him scream in pain filled her with warmth.) 

She couldn’t move. All that anger, all that want to get her revenge- all those overwhelming feelings disappeared as soon as they appeared, and all she could feel in that moment was resignation. All the fight left her. All the anger, the terror- it was all just gone. She felt exhausted and desperate and resigned. 

She felt tears slipping down her cheeks.  

She wanted to fight- but she knew there was no point. She wanted to run and scream and hide away to never be seen again- but she knew there was no point. He would always come back to haunt her, he would always come back to finish the job. There was nothing Sienna could do.  

He was here to have his fun, he was here to end her, and Sienna had no fight left in her to even try and fight back if he tried. 

Her breath hitched in her throat as she felt her knees give out. She reached for the chair in front of her to support her weight. She knew running away wouldn't help her. He would come for her if she didn't end him first. And she didn't know how to. She didn't have the will to try. She lost everything and everyone in her life- what does she have to lose? Her life doesn't feel like hers anymore. It feels like it's his.  

Sienna stumbling and catching the chair to support herself was what got the clowns attention.  

He turned around from his place at the stove and he smiled when he saw her. He was excited to see her.

Sienna didn’t know how to feel. She almost felt relieved. The clowns presence brought along with it such raw fear and anxiety- it felt familiar. Comforting almost. She closed her eyes as tears slipped down her face. 

When she opened her eyes again she saw Art has turned away from her again and he was now pouring his hot chocolate from the pot into a mug.  

Sienna felt like laughing at the absurdity.  

The clown wasn’t paying attention. She could try and end him right now. She could cut off his head again, she could choke him from behind, she could stab him over and over again- but what would it matter? It wouldn’t do anything. He was seemingly immortal. And Sienna was tired of fighting. 

She slipped into the chair and sat down. 

The man turned around and put the mug in front of her and proudly presented it to her with a wicked smile that made her stomach turn. She looked at the mug before looking back at him. 

He appeared to be unarmed. Sienna didn’t feel relieved by that fact at all. She knew she was going to meet her demise soon. She knew he was going to have his way with her, with, or without weapons. He was going to torture her and kill her anyway.  

Sienna looked up at him. He was still smiling, looking at her. There was nothing in his eyes. They were scarily empty.  

“Why?” She asked, her voice weak and shaky. She wanted to be angry at him, she wanted to be furious, but she couldn’t find it in herself to get mad. She had no more to give. She just wanted to know why he did what he did.

Art just shrugged in an exaggerated manner, looking all innocent- well, as innocent as a killer clown can look. 

Sienna felt more tears welling up in her eyes. This man killed all her friends, her whole family, just because he was bored and felt like it. He did it just because he could, and Sienna was sure it was fun to him. 

She slumped forward, her head resting on her hands as a sob escaped her. She started crying silently. She was sure the clown was enjoying her pain. 

She heard him pull up a chair and sit down in it, right next to her. 

She felt a hand touch her shoulder in what she thought was a comforting gesture. 

Looking to the side at the clown, he had mock pity on his face. He was mocking her, laughing at her pain- and Sienna just broke. She sobbed and unwillingly leaned into the hand still on her shoulder. She felt the man tug her towards him and she let her body fall forwards into him.  

Art slowly enveloped her in a hug and Sienna could feel him shaking. He was laughing.  

He was laughing, he was comforting her to mock her- the killer, the monster who ruined her entire life- he was holding her close and comforting her just to remind her that she had no one else but him. She had no one and nothing left. All she had was her trauma and the painful memories. 

Sienna sobbed into his chest and despite her conflicting emotions- his tight embrace felt comforting, and the realization made Sienna sob harder as one of his hands started petting her hair.  

She felt safe in his arms, knowing he was going to be the one to kill her soon. 

The promise of death felt like heaven to her broken and tortured mind. 

[lewis-winters]

I was just curious but do you have any recs for period dramas about the philippines? I want to expand my period drama watching and im not quite sure where to start

Oh, the monster you've unleashed. YES I do have so many period dramas from and about the Philippines. Unfortunately, not all of them might be accessible to you if you're outside of the Philippines. Some of them are found on Amazon Prime, Netflix, and MUBI though. I'll make sure to put a lil note next to each film if they are. Also! these vary in genre (meaning: not all of them are war films, and some of these are horror films-- because this is me we're talking to, heh). I also have copies of some of these and will make a lil note next to each film if it's available for sharing, though I'll only give the link via DM. Please note, however, that they are all either in Tagalog, Bisaya, and/or other local Philippine Languages and not all of them have subtitles!

I also have very nuanced relationships with all these films, since Philippine History was my undergrad of choice. But to keep this post as brief as possible, I'm not going to talk about them at length. Though I will be including trigger warnings. Also note... some of these movies kinda suck HAAHAHAHA but I had way too much fun watching them so like. Please don't tell me they suck, please. I love them too much.

Also tagging @emmylynnaa because I promised her a similar list.

This is sorted by eras in Philippine History. Enjoy! (under the cut because it got long):

Spanish Occupation Era (1565 to 1898)

GomBurZa (2023) – A film following the GomBurZa, the three native Filipino Roman Catholic priests Gomez, Burgos, and Zamora executed during the latter years of the Spanish colonial era. TW: period typical violence. Furthermore, this is a Jesuit produced film so like. Once again. Take it with a grain of salt.

Jose Rizal (1998) - Jose Rizal's life and works are recounted through a series of non-linear flashbacks which reflect on various aspects of his life - as writer, propagandist, lover, friend, brother, doctor, and the man that inspired a revolution. Available on MUBI. TW: depiction of sexual assault by a priest. I also have a love-hate relationship with this film because on one hand, literally shaped my love of history. On the other hand, it is the MOST idealistic depiction of Jose Rizal ever + very historically inaccurate in many places, please watch this with a grain of salt.

Maria Clara at Ibarra (2022 – 2023) – A series about a girl from the 21st century who is magically transported into Jose Rizal’s famous novels Noli me Tangere and El Filibusterismo (you know, the novels that helped spark the Filipino Revolution against the Spanish). The synopsis sounds cheesy but trust me, it’s very good. Available to watch on the GMA official webpage. I just don’t know if you can access it outside of the country. TW: rape, abuses of the Catholic church, period typical violence, abuses of Spanish colonialists. A personal favorite—the costumes? Divine. And the character arcs are also really lovely. Helps you understand Philippine contemporary culture, too.

Katipunan: TV Mini Series (2013) – A mini-series depicting the creation of the Kataastaasan Kagalang-galang na Katipunan ng mga Anak ng Bayan (or the KKK—no, not the white supremacist group; that’s unfair, by the way, we did it first), the revolutionary organization founded in 1892 by Filipino Nationalists against Spanish Colonialization. Available to watch on the GMA official webpage. I just don’t know if you can access it outside of the country. TW: depictions of rape aftermath by Spanish soldiers, period typical violence, torture, graphic depictions of a corpse. This is a personal favorite of mine.

Hele sa Hiwagang Hapis/A Lullaby to the Sorrowful Mystery (2016) - Andrés Bonifacio is celebrated as the father of the Philippines Revolution against Spanish colonial rule. This eight-hour epic examines this myth, undertaking an expedition into history through various interwoven narrative threads, held together by an exploration of the individual’s role in history. Available on Mubi. TW: it is literally eight hours long. But that’s Lav Diaz for you. I love him, but oh my god is he an acquired taste.

Ang Kababaihan ng Malolos (2014) - The saga of the 20 Filipino women who petitioned for the opening of a school in a time when women weren’t given the chance to do so.

Ganito Kami Noon... Paano Kayo Ngayon? (1976) – Set during the end of Spanish colonization and the start of American colonization. After his mother's death, the simple-minded and naïve Kulas (Christopher De Leon) begins his much-awaited trip to Manila. On his way to Manila, he mindlessly takes on the mission of retrieving a friar's son and bringing him to the friar's residence.

Mallari (2023) - A horror film chronicling the deeds of the first recorded serial killer in the Philippines. This film spans decades, all the way up to present day. It's kinda stupid. Like. Really stupid. That's ok. We watch it because we want to see Piolo Pascual and JC Santos covered in blood. TW: oh my god so many bodies and so much gore.

Filipino-American War and America Occupation (1899 – 1940s) (this era has the best films, actually, if you want a place to start and start strong? start here)

Amigo (2010) - A local leader of a small Filipino barangay must decide whether to keep the peace with the American troops occupying his village or join the insurgency with his brother and son. TW: racism, sexual harassment, graphic depictions of corpses, gore, period typical violence.

Heneral Luna (2015) - Set during the Philippine-American war, Heneral Luna follows the life of one of Philippine History's most brilliant soldier, General Antonio Luna, as he tries to lead his countrymen against colonial masters new and old, and to rise above their own raging disputes to fulfill the promise of the Philippine Revolution. Available on Netflix. TW: short scene depicting the aftermath of sexual assault, period typical violence, and graphic depictions of a corpse. Again, one of my favorites. I have so many happy memories of this film + the fandom it birthed! I miss it sometimes.

Angelito (2018) – The short film that bridges both Heneral Luna and Goyo: Ang Batang Heneral, depicting the brothers Manuel and Jose Bernal – Antonio Luna’s aides-de-camp – and their youngest brother Angel, two days before the General’s assassination. This film you can find on Youtube!

Goyo: Ang Batang Heneral (2019) – The sequel of Heneral Luna, this film follows the story of Gregorio 'Goyo' del Pilar, one of the youngest Generals during the Philippine-American War who fought in the historic Battle of Tirad Pass. Available on Netflix. TW: short scenes of torture, period typical violence, and graphic depictions of a corpse. Again, a personal favorite for the same reasons stated above. Though it’s not as strong as Heneral Luna, I gotta say.

Ang Larawan (2017) - In a musical tale about standing together against materialism, two impoverished sisters anguish over whether or not to sell a painting, the final masterpiece by their recluse father. A bitter struggle for survival against betrayal set in pre-World War II Manila. A personal favorite, oh my god. This film. Oh my god, this film.

World War 2 and its aftermath (1940 – 1950)

Quezon’s Game (2018) - In 1938, Philippine President Manuel L. Quezon, military adviser Dwight D. Eisenhower, along with other notable figures, set out to rescue Jewish refugees fleeing Nazi Germany. Quezon simultaneously deals with a relapse of tuberculosis. Available on Amazon Prime. TW: talk of genocide and short scenes depicting the murder of Jewish people by the Nazis.

Tatlong Taong Walang Dios (1976) - A woman falls in love with a Japanese soldier during the Japanese Occupation in the Philippines; the whole town turns against her. TW: rape. Think Malena.

Oro, Plata, Mata (1982) - Set in the Philippine island of Negros during World War II, it tells the story of how two hacendero families cope with the changes brought about by the war. TW: rape

Kusina (2016) – Her kitchen. The silent witness to the life and love of Juanita. It is her sanctuary, the place where she creates dishes for her family, friends, even enemies and strangers. Through cooking, she gets to know the people around her. TW: violent child birth, death of mother in child birth, sexual harassment by Japanese soldiers. This spans multiple decades, all the way up to Martial Law.

In My Mother’s Skin (2023) - Stranded in the Philippines during World War II, a young girl finds that her duty to protect her dying mother is complicated by her misplaced trust in a beguiling, flesh-eating fairy. Available on Amazon Prime. TW: body horror, gore, explicit depictions of a corpse, period typical violence.

Markova: Comfort Gay (2000) – A coming of age drama film loosely based on the life of Walter Dempster Jr., the last surviving Filipino “comfort gay” (male sex slaves for the Imperial Japanese Army) from World War II. TW: CSA, wartime systemic rape, rape.

Comfort Women: A Cry for Justice (1994) – The story of how two sisters and the rest of the women of Sta. Monica are forced into sex slavery by Japanese soldiers during World War 2. TW: wartime systemic rape, rape, and period typical violence.

Seklusyon (2016) - In 1947, a group of deacons (aspiring priests) on their last week of training are sent to a remote monastery to live in seclusion for seven days to protect them from the devil, who on the last few days of training attempts to break the will of deacons to make them reconsider their choice of becoming priests. During their seclusion, a little girl named Anghela, believed by locals to be a living saint because of her healing abilities, appears at the monastery seeking refuge. Available on Amazon. TW: pedophilia, gore, body horror, Catholicism, religious horror.

Corazon: Ang Unang Aswang (2012) - A psychological thriller film detailing the psychological breakdown of a woman struggling with infertility in post-war Philippines. If you want to see women go feral, this is fun.

Martial Law (1970 – 1980) (actually, you know what? I lied. This era is the era with the best films. God, these are CLASSICS and are the ones that’ll help you understand contemporary Philippine culture the most; definitely start here)

Manila, sa mga Kuko ng Liwanag (1975) - Júlio Madiaga, a 'provinciano', arrives in Manila to search for his beloved, Ligaya. TW: coerced sex work, sexual abuse. Once again, a Filipino cinema classic.

Insiang (1976) - After a teenager is raped by her mother's boyfriend, she sets out to exact revenge on anyone who has hurt her. TW: I mean. It says it right there. Though it’s not actually shown on screen, it is very heavily implied. She doesn’t die in the end, if you’re wondering.

Dekada ’70 (2002) - A middle-class Filipino family struggles to survive in the era of dictatorship. This is a fucking classic in Filipino cinema. Available on MUBI. TW: sexual harrassment, discussion of torture, depictions of wounds and beatings, period typical violence. Martial Law was rough.

Aparisyon (2012) – A psychological drama film set in early 1970s, where the story about the nuns in the period immediately preceding the declaration of martial law by Ferdinand Marcos. The film’s director, Isabel Sandoval, is a transgender woman and an absolute visionary. Her other films Senorita (2011) and Lingua Franca (2019) are also very good, please check it out. All films are available for streaming through the Criterion Channel. TW: rape, religious trauma, period typical violence, Catholicism.

Lihis (2013) - Set in the 70’s during the darkest hours of Philippine History, we follow the story of two young NPA warriors who find themselves entangled in a web of frustration, despair and victory as they fight not only for democracy but also their love for each other. Available on MUBI. TW: Infidelity.

Barber’s Tales (2014) - In a rural town in the Philippines during the Marcos dictatorship, the newly widowed Marilou inherits the town's only barbershop from her husband- a business that has been passed down by generations of men in her husband's family. With no other means of support, she musters the courage to run the barbershop.

Dahling Nick (2015) - Dahling Nick is a docu-drama exploring the life and works of National Artist for Literature Nick Joaquin, who only accepted the National Artist Award on the condition that the Marcos administration release a well-known writer who was being unjustly detained during Martial Law. I love Nick Joaquin. He’s shaped my understanding of the Magical Realist genre far more than any of his contemporaries have. This film is notoriously difficult to get your hands on, so I suggest going to read his anthology by Penguin Classics called the Tropical Gothic instead!

Respeto (2017) - Hendrix is a poor aspiring rapper who wants to make a name for himself in the underground rap battle scene and gain respect in the community. After attempting to rob a second-hand bookstore in the neighborhood, he is discovered by the owner, Doc, an old poet with a haunted past as a dissident. Not necessarily period, but definitely has its roots in Martial Law.

Liway (2018) – A film about the kip, a young boy growing up in a prison as the son of anti-Marcos dissident Cecilia Flores-Oebanda, better known as Commander Liway, during the waning days of the Marcos dictatorship. It is currently streaming on Youtube!

The Kingmaker (2019) - is a 2019 documentary film written and directed by Lauren Greenfield, featuring the political career of Imelda Marcos with a focus on the Marcos family's efforts to rehabilitate the family's image and to return to political power, including her plans to see her son, Bongbong, become President of the Philippines, and the alliance that Bongbong and Imee Marcos established with Rodrigo Duterte in his bid to win the 2016 Philippine presidential election. Available on Youtube! if outside of the Philippines, use VPN.

1980s – 2000s Philippines

Misteryo sa Tuwa (1984) - The fortunes of three impoverished friends and their families abruptly change after an airplane crashes in a nearby mountain.

Alpha Kappa Omega Batch ’81 (1982) – A psychological drama film depicting the titular fraternity's harsh initiation of new batch members as seen through the eyes of pre-med student Sid Lucero. TW: hazing, torture, psychological torture. It’s fucked up, actually.

Himala (1982) – During a total eclipse Elsa, a young girl from rural Philippines, allegedly witnesses an apparition of the Virgin Mary on top of the hill where, as an infant, she was found and adopted by Saling. Said visions change her life and cause a sensation hysteria in a poor, isolated northern village in the midst of drought. TW: rape, religious fanaticism, religious trauma.

Adela (2008) - The story of Adela, which takes place in the span of one day, is a heartbreaking story of a woman who longs for the company of her loved ones. This isn’t actually period. This film just breaks my heart. And of course, it has acting legend Anita Linda in it. How could I not recommend it?

Now Showing (2008) - Rita is named after a famous American movie star whom her late, former actress grandmother once adored. She lives in one of Manila’s oldest districts with her mother and aunt. Years later, she is still the same girl enamoured with television, now tending to her aunt’s stall selling pirated DVDs.

Elegy to the Visitor from the Revolution (2011) - A woman from the end of the 19th century visits modern day Philippines and observes three interwoven stories: that of a prostitute, a group of criminals and a musician. This is another Lav Diaz one. It’s long.

K’na The Dreamweaver (2014) - K’na is a young woman coming into her own in the mountains of South Cotabato, where the T’boli live, overlooking the majestic and mystical Lake Sebu. She is part of the royal family of the South bank of the lake, part of the clan that was banished from the North Bank centuries ago after what the elders call The Great Betrayal. At a young age, K’na, is trained in the art of weaving the T’bolit’nalak. The design of the t’nalak fabric comes from the visions granted by Fu Dalu, the goddess of abaca, only to deserving women who become dreamweavers. K’na’s grandmother, Be Lamfey, is the village’s last master dreamweaver. When Be Lamfey dies, the gift of dreamweaving is passed to K’na and her father, LobongDitan, decides to put an end to the warring clans of Lake Sebu once and for all by arranging a marriage between K’na and Kagis, the heir to the throne of North bank. Meanwhile, K’na has fallen in love with Silaw, a childhood friend whose family supplies the finest abaca fibers to the dreamweavers. Silaw leaves love messages for her by tying bits of abaca thread to a tree outside K’na’s window. As the marriage grows near, a revolution brews among those who do not believe in the union of the two royal clans.

Smaller and Smaller Circles (2017) - Two Jesuit priests, Gus Saenz and Jerome Lucero perform forensic work to solve the mystery revolving around the murders of young boys in Payatas, one of Metro Manila's biggest slum areas. While dealing with the systematic corruption of the government, church, and the elite, the two priests delve into criminal profiling, crime scene investigation, and forensic analysis to solve the killings, and eventually, find the murderer. Available on Netflix. TW: child death, talk of child sexual abuse at the hands of the Catholic Church and at the hands of teachers, graphic depictions of a corpse, film also triggering to folks who suffer from claustrophobia.

Billie and Emma (2018) – An LGBT coming of age story set in the mid-1990s featuring two teenaged girls Billie and Emma as they grapple with topics such as sexuality, family, religion, unplanned pregnancy, and the uncertainty of the future.

[nc-vb]

𝐌𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐚, 𝐌𝐚𝐧𝐡𝐰𝐚, & 𝐌𝐚𝐧𝐡𝐮𝐚 𝐑𝐞𝐜𝐬

a long time coming that I've meant to compile a list, but it just kept growing and growing and growing...

the webtoon list includes my very personal & important in-my-heart recommendations. aaaaand the rest are mostly smutty, kinky, and even a little dark.......... do not perceive, just enjoy. and support the official author's work and translations if you can!!

if there are any in this list you'd like a heads up about before reading, feel free to drop me an ask and I'll give you my honest opinion/review.

if you're having trouble locating anything, shoot me an ask (because i have most, if not all, of the links saved).

and feel free to gush to me if you liked any of them!! i'm always happy to talk about mmm's.

[updated july 3rd, 2023] - newly added titles are in green.

𝐵𝐿 = boy's love genre 𝐆𝐋 = girl's love genre 𝟏+ = includes harems & poly relationships ❤ = absolute masterpieces, highly recommended! ! = proceed with extreme caution/heed all warnings

please heed all warnings and tags found within each of these recommendations, as well as my own warnings from the symbol legend above and found throughout this post.

some of these are sfw and some aren't. some of these aren't for the faint of heart and will be marked to be read at your own risk. additionally, not all are translated into English. 𝐵𝐿/𝐆𝐋 are separate from the general list.

𝐖𝐄𝐁𝐓𝐎𝐎𝐍

A Messy Fairy Tale 𝟏+

A Summer Night's Dream

Age Matters ❤

Back to You

Bailin and Li Yun BL❤

Bitten Contract

Boyfriend of the Dead

Castle Swimmer BL

City of Blank

Dating With a Tail

Daytime Star

Devil Number 4 ❤

Devilish Romance

Down to Earth

Dreaming Freedom

Ghost Wife

Ghostly Buddie

Half-Ghost

Harem of LuuAnh

Hello Baby ❤

I'm the Grim Reaper

I Love Yoo ❤

It's Mine

Jeff's Disorders

Kind of Confidential

Little Rain

Lore Olympus ❤

Love Advice from the Great Duke of Hell ❤

Mage & Demon Queen GL

Marry Me!

Maybe Meant to Be

Meow Man

Midnight Poppy Land

Midnight Rain

Mom, I'm Sorry

Morgana and Oz

Muse on Fame

My Beloved Emperor

My Dear Cold-Blooded King

My Four Husbands 𝟏+

My In-Laws are Obsessed with Me ❤

My Lovely Bodyguard

Nice to Meet You

Not Even Bones

Operation: True Love ❤

Pastel-colored Pages

Phase

Scorching Romance

See You in My 19th Life ❤

Selina ~ Moon Bride ~

Siren's Lament ❤

Soleil

Space Boy

Strange and Wild

SubZero

Swimming Lessons for a Mermaid ❤

Take Off BL

The Devil is a Handsome Man

The First Night With the Duke ❤

The Guy Upstairs

The Newlywed Diary of a Witch and a Dragon ❤

The RUNWAY

There Must Be Happy Endings

To the Stars and Back BL

Trapped ❤

Unlovable Replacement

When Jasy Whistles ❤❤

Winter Woods

Your Smile is a Trap ❤

𝐒𝐅𝐖

Abe-kun's Got Me Now! (Abe-kun ni Nerawaretemasu)

A Master, Who Woke Up As a Concubine ❤

And Yet, You Are So Sweet (Na no ni, Chigira-kun amasugiru)

Beloved in-Laws (poor transl.)

Bon Appétit ❤

Don't Blush, Sekime

Forget My Husband, I'll Go Make Money (Aug 2023)

Golden Forest !

I, My, Me, Mine ❤ (アイマイミーマイン)

I Became the Male Lead's Adopted Daughter

I Can't Keep Up With My Stallion Duke ❤❤

I Will Change the Genre

I Will Rewrite the Dead End Novel

In the Clear Moonlit Dusk ❤ (Uruwashi no Yoi no Tsuki)

It's My Destiny to Be the Hero's Saviour !

Kubo Won't Let Me Be Invisible

Love's in Sight!

Loving Yamada at Lv 999 ❤❤❤

Male Lead, I'll Respect Your Taste !

Ookami no Musume ❤❤

Pink and Habanero ❤ (Pink to Habanero)

Protected by My Dragon Knight (Seijo wa Ryuukishi-sama ni Mamorarete)

Scary Faced High Schooler and Miss Plain Jane

Second Life of a Trash Princess

Sinking too deep in your rabbit hole, now I'm drowning in your love

Stella Next to Me ❤ (Tonari no Stella)

The Cunning Princess and the Shark ❤

The Fragrant Flower Blooms With Dignity ❤ (Kaoru Hana wa Rin to Saku)

The Muscle Girl Next Door

The Obsessive Second Male Lead Has Gone Wild

The Reasons We Fall in Love ❤ (Watashi-tachi ga koisuru riyuu)

The Tyrant's Comfort Doll !

To the Dear F-Phantom of the Opera (Shinai naru F e: Opera-za no Kaijin)

Toilet-Bound Hanako-kun ❤ (Jibaku Shounen Hanako-kun)

Vampire Lord's Greatest Wife ❤

Welcome to the Yandere Cafe (rating subject to change)

Yojouhan no Ibara Hime

𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐒𝐅𝐖

あざと可愛い✕くんの執着サド交尾は本物です x!!!

無能力巫女は狛犬の淫紋快楽漬け x❤!

2LDK IKEMEN Tsuki Bukken Arimasu !!

A Dream Between the Sheets ❤❤

A Gentle Sea Monster and a Lonely Girl !

A Predator in a Skirt !

A Sip of Poison !

Boy's Abyss (subject to change, new read) !!

Childhood Friend's Secret Massage !

Consort to the Fox Spirit Lord

Dark Fall !

Depths of Malice !

Devoured by a Bookworm Girl !

Fire in His Fingertips ❤

Former Delinquent Farmer's Sex Appeal is Dangerous!

From Him to Who? ~Sex With My Body-Snatched Husband ❤

Gokudou to Omega - Mukidashi no Katsuai

Hana's Demons of Lust !

Hare-kon 𝟏+

Heat 200 Meters Away (200 M Saki no Netsu)

Honey, I'm Going On a Strike!

How to Make a Frigid Girl Cum

I'm in Love With Mr. Hanabusa

Lady K and the Sick Man ❤❤

Last Order wa Ojou-san de Dekiai Jouren Kyaku ni Kyuuai saretemasu

Junai - Pure Wet Love

Kuma to Tora ~Taikakusa Osananajimi no Hajimete kara, Kemono ni Naru 2-kakan made~ x

Madoka Exorcist ❤!

Mede Little Roy !

Mr. Tada is a Top Performer

Muttsuri Akazukin-kun kara wa nige rarenai

My Cold Co-worker Obsessively Loves Me

Pet Baby Doll

Pygmalion's Savior is a Big But Immature Love Monster !❤

Red Hot Proposal: Surrounded by His Tanned Body

Sadistic Beauty !!!!

Sakaki the Lazybones Shows His Talents at Night ❤❤

Sapphire Dew ~ Infatuated Gentlemanly Boyfriend Seizes the Initiative !

Seishun no Hekireki

Seriously can't pass this up. - Kohai's passionate sex won't stop until morning

Sinful Nun Pays Penitence to the Serpent ❤❤

Spring Amidst My Wintertide ❤

Superstitious Nine ❤

Sweet Lies Layered Like a Mille Feuille ❤

Tadano Renai Nanka de Kikkonai ❤❤

The Golden Forest !

The Goldfish’s Corpse Lies at the Bottom of the Swamp !!!!!!!!

The Greengrocer is a Carnivore in Bed!?

The Man Who Saved Me in My Isekai Trip Was a Killer!!!!!!!

The Neighbor in Room 203 Disappeared Leaving a Key Behind !!!!!!!

The Reincarnated Saint Falls for the Demon Lord

The Tainted Half !

The Virgin Witch

The Weird Senior in the Seat Next to Me ❤❤❤! (Tonari Senpai)

Toshishita Osananajimi ga Watashi o Shibatte Hanasa nai! x

Totem's Realm

Touching is Better Than Looking

Under the Oak Tree

Until the Obedient Bodyguard Exposes the Body and the Lie of the Fake Lady ❤

"Wanna Cum?" The Pure Taiga Advances Slow and Sweet ❤❤

Welcome to the Muscle Salon ❤❤❤

When Beauty Meets Beasts

When You Are Reincarnated As The villain NPC's Girl And Be Loved By The Strongest Prince Who Is Not A Capture Target !!

Wild Eyes

Will You Pledge Your Love to an Incubus?

Wish Upon a Husband

Yaba Ai Instructor !

You're Too Cute for Me to Be Gentle

𝐁𝐋 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐒𝐅𝐖 𝐑𝐄𝐂𝐒

4 Week Lovers BL

A Handless Day BL!

A Hot Wet Job for Three -Adult Toy Tester- BL, 𝟏+

A Kiss for You, My Shinobi BL

A Tree Without Roots BL❤!

Angel Buddy BL❤❤

Bidou Wakadanna Koi Shitau Wa Koushoku Otoko BL❤

Bitten by Moonlight BL

Black Mirror BL!!!

Blind Play BL!!

Can't Think Straight BL

Cherry Blossoms After Winter BL

Confession Night BL

Dangerous Convenience Store BL

Dawn of the Dragon BL

Dear Door BL

DEATH or LOVE BL

Delinquent Omega Belongs to the Beast King BL

Demon of Lustful Hell BL

Desharow Merman BL❤

Die If You Aren't a Virgin BL

Eat Me Up, My Husband BL!

Ennead

Eunsoo's Good Day BL

Eye Contact BL

Fake Fact Lips BL

Frenemies: Thicker Than Blood BL❤

Friends, Engaged

Fucking in the Dorms BL!

Ghost Gate BL!!!!!

Healing Paradox BL❤

He's a Better Top Than Me?! BL

Home Far Away BL❤!!!

Horeta Otoko wa Shin'yuu de BL!

Housekeeper's Love Affair BL

How to convince your best friend to sleep with you BL

Hyperventilation BL❤❤❤

I Didn't Ask You to Eat Me!

I Love You, Nothing Else Matters BL❤

In an Empty Classroom BL

Indigo BL

I Ship My Rival x Me BL

It's Just a Dream... Right? BL❤❤❤

Jinx BL!

Kabukicho Bad Trip BL

Kiss de Egaku Ittousei BL❤

Kiss Me, Liar BL!

Lala no Kekkon BL!

Liveta BL

Love in Kitsch BL

Love is an Illusion BL!

Love Jinx BL❤

Low Tide in Twilight BL!!

Mad Dog BL❤❤

Miscreants and Mayhem BL

Missing Love BL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (<I cannot express this enough.)

My Delicious Dream Boy BL❤

My Demon Crybaby, Maria BL

My Partner Suddenly Got Younger - An Omega Caretaker Plays Alpha BL!

Natsu no Teppen ni Saku BL

Old-Fashioned Cupcake BL❤❤ (has a j-drama)

Pain, Sweet Pain BL

Passion BL

Payback BL❤❤❤

Pearl Boy BL❤!!!!!!

Pink Heart Jam BL❤❤

Please, Candy! BL!

Roses and Champagne BL!

Sadistic Beauty: Side Story BL!!!!!!

Secret Inside My Head BL❤❤❤

Semantic Error BL (has a j-drama)

Sensei wa Nekketsu ga Areba Juubunda! BL!

Sick BL

Sign BL❤❤❤

Sketch BL❤

Speak of the Devil BL

Steel Under Silk BL❤

Surge Looking for You BL❤

Sweet Trap BL

Tabetemo Oishiku Arimasen BL

Tentacle Recipe BL(?)❤

The Blessed Life of a Retired Nian Monster BL

The Crybaby's at the Mean Devil's Mercy BL❤

The Foxy Mouse's Romance BL

The Origin of Species BL!

The Pizza Delivery Man and the Gold Palace BL

The Pure-Hearted Puppy and the Erotic Tattoo BL❤

The Silent Concubine BL!

The Unquenchable Mr. Kim BL❤

The Words in Your Snare BL❤❤❤

To Take An Enemy's Heart BL!

Tomodachi Engagement BL

Trick Turned Into a Threesome With the Tachibana Brother BL

Under the Greenlight BL

Unexpectedly Naughty Fukami BL❤

Unromantic Romance BL❤

Young Lover BL!!

Your Wish is My Command BL❤

Yours to Claim BL

Zenryaku, Onii-chan wa Seijo ni Narimashita BL!

more recommendations will likely be added as time goes on! feel free to copy these recs for your own checklist of 'to reads'.

hope you enjoy them like i did! :)

[dontpercievemeplease]

Jashers it’s happened.

Silly Writing with Silly Guys by Foxy is now on ao3!!!

No more having to deal with large google docs :)

Please show Foxy some love!!

Go read it’s so good!!!! They’re brothers your honor I swear-

[elvisabutler]

Hi I’d like to request a smut about Austin Butler and reader. Reader stared as Pricilla in Elvis and Austin and her became very close And they flirt all the time but when Austin dates Kaia reader feels like she has no chance Then the cast goto the oscars where Austin is nominated and wins Reader is also nominated but for Marilyn Monroe(Love her!)she goes down the isle Austin kisses her in front of everybody like Alexander Skarsguard and Nicole Kidman reader confronts him after leads to smut.

love was just a glance away

summary: after bonding and flirting nonstop on the set of elvis, you fall for austin but don't take a chance on telling him. when he starts to date kaia you think your opportunity is gone for good until oscar night. fandom: austin butler | elvis ( 2022 ) rating: m pairing: austin butler x priscilla actress reader ( different verse than my usual ). austin butler x kaia gerber is also mentioned, plays an somewhat important part as the prompt implies. word count: 2642 warnings: cheating on austin's part, kind of. pining. oral ( f receiving ). age difference ( austin is the older one in both relationships ). mentions of the movie blonde. author’s note: so this has been tricky for me for a number of reasons that i won't get into. but anon if you're still around ( since this was from the beginning of september, lord have mercy ) thank you for this prompt and i hope you enjoy! and we're all gonna pretend that blonde wasn't a trash fire, alright? just for this fic. and for those of you who don't remember, yes that kiss with alexander and nicole did happen. it's okay, i forgot about it too. and special thanks to @blurredcolour and @ab4eva who helped talk me out of setting this piece on fire. no taglist this time for this is a piece i am still very unsure of.

Austin Butler has a magnetism you wish you could blame on him playing Elvis- wish you could blame on him not being able to separate himself from his character. You wish you could and yet you of all people know the truth, that Austin will look at you as if you're the only person in the room when talking to you, will act as if he cares about all the little tiny details of your life that most people just sort of pretend to care about. No one could fault you for falling for him- no one could fault anyone for falling for him, especially when you had been his costar- the Prisicilla to his Elvis for almost two years, watching Elvis movies together, learning everything about the real life people that made your characters who they were.

You tell yourself you should have made a move on Austin when you had the chance. You should have made a move on him at that stupid brunch or that stupid moment in the water at the wrap party. You should have but you were too scared, too much that young girl who got the part and found yourself starry eyed over your older costar. So you allow him to slip through your fingers and move onto your next project while he moves onto his. You keep faintly in touch, talking over text until the pics with Lily Rose come out and you ignore him for a week, too hurt that he moved on- like you had ever been together- to speak to him. When you finally do you're shorter than you've ever been with him and he backs off for a month. He backs off thinking you're- he knows he's made you angry, hurt you but he doesn't know why. You two were never anything more than close costars, hell, you had been one of the few he'd had that stuck around past filming like this, stuck around and had him keep that sense of family he always lost when shooting wrapped for any project.

He backs away for a month but then he meets Kaia and she feels like a balm. A part of him, a part deep inside the recesses of his mind knows he's probably using her and that she doesn't deserve this- she's not even 21 and here he was just fooling around with her. She's nice enough though- her parents less so but- no one was perfect and he was dating her and not them. Getting to know her is a whirlwind before the press tour, coffee dates and trips to Paris and making out over masks because she's better than 'Nessa ever will be about obeying the rules when it comes to the pandemic.

Seeing you on the press tour, seeing you in your dress at the Met has his heart thudding in his chest, has his hands itching to touch you. You're flying solo while he has Kaia on his arm being sweet and as lovely as can be. She's everything he could want in a girlfriend he thinks, and yet she's not you. Still, she doesn't deserve this, doesn't deserve to have anything but his undivided attention so he tries to remind himself that if you two were meant to be- if you two were supposed to be together you would be. Life isn't the Notebook and people don't drift apart only to come back together in a sweeping scene in the rain. When he reminds himself of this, when he let's himself tell his subconscious this over and over it sinks in, it makes it easier to be the adoring boyfriend Kaia deserves and after the standing ovation that lasts twelve minutes and you congratulating him, he allows himself to forget about it.

He allows himself to bury his feelings for you because he's not a cheater, he's not the type to break up his own relationship on a- fling, a potential friends with benefits situation- a something that isn't another relationship. He's not a cheater by nature but sometimes- sometimes he wishes he was, wishes he could call you up on the nights he's in Budapest or the nights he's in Ohio and tell you everything. Tell you that he loves Kaia but he's been at least a little in love with you since filming and it's not just Elvis and Priscilla. No, it's you and him. You're filming- something else at this point and he knows your Marilyn movie is getting rave reviews, not like he expected any different, and yet he only congratulates you, doesn't try and tell you his feelings, content to ride whatever his relationship with Kaia proves to be because you don't- You two missed your opportunity.

Never in his wildest dreams had Austin thought he'd be nominated for an Oscar for Elvis but if you had asked him- and you had- you were always going to be a shoo-in for a nomination for Marilyn. If you ask him, the phone call he has congratulating you- the one that takes three hours of just the two of you catching up? That might have been the straw that broke the camel's back with Kaia.

His relationship with her might not have been PR but he knows- and she knows it's a PR nightmare to have them break up right before the Oscars, and they may not be together but they like each other as people and Kaia murmurs against his shoulder that "you deserve to have your moment" and he does, doesn't he? After all those years of slaving away trying to become the actor he knows he was born to be.

You try to not watch Austin and how he looks with Kaia on his arm on the red carpet. Everyone's busy asking about your nomination and how it makes you feel and only occasionally do they bring up Austin's own, it's- it's fine. Handling this would be a piece of cake unlike figuring out just where you were supposed to sit as far as your respective casts went. You choose to sit with the Blonde cast, scrunching your face at Xavier and giving Bobby and Adrian the largest hugs imagable. You glance across the room to see Austin staring at you with something- with some look you don't dare identify as jealousy, after all, Kaia isn't too far away from him but it's something you're not sure you want to put a name to.

The ceremony itself feels like a blur- feels like a rush even though you know when you're watching it at home it never feels like that. Maybe it's just one of those things you have to experience in person to get the full effect. Austin wins- of course he does, you had no doubt and despite how complicated things have been with you and him- or how you wish you had made a move, you're still proud of him. Your standing ovation is practically a version of his one from Cannes and you see him grinning seeing you still clapping even as you sit down. It's hard to focus on the words he's saying after you hear "and my Priscilla, the wonderful Y/N," and realize he's still looking at you with something akin to joy and awe rolled into one while he continues to thank people. Brushing it off as just him needing to focus on one person in the audience is easy enough especially as your nerves start to truly hit you when it comes to your own nomination. Your heartbeat rushes in your ears a constant thrum as the names are read off until you hear them say your name and you see your castmates clapping and pushing you out of your chair. You're so thankful you didn't pick a dress with an obscenely long train because you can focus on walking and you do up until the point when you see Austin's body in front of you. Before you even have a chance to ask what he's doing you feel his large warm hands cup both sides of your face and pull you in for a kiss. Your own hands cup his face unbidden, forgetting that you two are on live television and forgetting that his girlfriend is right there. When you pull away your shocked eyes search his eyes for an answer only to get a look of pure love that you recognize, if only because he's given that look to you as Elvis so many times.

The speech you give is not the one you intended to, it's discombobulated and you swear a little nonsensical but it's over as soon as it happens and you find yourself whisked away to the backstage area where you see Austin of all the people standing there. There's an urge to slap him that threatens to bubble up to the surface before you pull him aside and snarl at him.

"What the fuck, Austin?" You pause. "What was that? Why- Why aren't you with Kaia?"

Austin pulls you farther away, into a small room of some kind before he sinks to his knees and frowns. "That- That was me kissing you. And we're- I don't need to be with her, she's twenty one years old, Y/N."

The next words that leave you are hissed as you look down at Austin on the floor, on his knees looking like he's wanting to find his way under your dress. "She's your girlfriend. Get off the floor." Your eyes dart around Austin, trying to not focus on how he looks as he looks up at you and licks his lips.

"She's my ex-girlfriend," he clarifies, as his hand moves to touch your calf, earning a slight shiver from you. "I- We should have gone together. I should have- I wanted you, I want you. Let me just- Let me make it up to you, please. Then you can be mad at me."

You raise an eyebrow at his words, wondering just what he means has his hand moves slowly upward until it reaches your thigh and you shiver, your chest heaving ever so slowly as you whisper. "Austin- You-" You shut your eyes and for once let yourself enjoy something, like he said, he wants to make it up to you, he wants to beg for your forgiveness on his knees. You can let him and then be mad at him like he says. "Please."

Your murmured please is all he needs to push up the fabric of your dress, exposing your underwear covered vagina. The underwear is pulled down enough in a flash as he wastes no time in burying his face in your crotch, inhaling a deep breath before his tongue starts to work you open. He licks at you, flicks his tongue against your clit, in your cunt, everywhere he seems to be able to reach. It's all too much and too little all at once as your hands move to grab at his hair, pulling it and earning a moan from him that he lets out around your clit. You shouldn't enjoy this as much as you do, you shouldn't be letting him do this even though you've dreamed at how his stubble would feel against your pussy, how it'd feel against your thighs. The feel of his fingers and of coolness of the two rings that are on his fingers against your pussy have you clenching around them and you hear him chuckle a little as you feel a rush of embarrassment at your reaction.

For someone who has never had sex with you and someone who- despite flirting with like your life depended on it out of character- doesn't know how exactly to pleasure you in the exact what you want, he's doing a phenomenal job. There's still calluses on his fingers that you want to ask where he's gotten them from but you feel the roughness of them against your clit and that and all other thoughts flutter away in a hiss of pleasure. He pulls away just slightly kissing your thigh and whispering words you never thought you'd hear from him. Whispers of his love and adoration for you on and off set, how he loves how you scrunch your face and how he knows this year is just the beginning for you and how he loves you and wants you to be his. It's too much for you, the words circling around in your head as you feel his fingers curl against your g-spot and feel his mouth sucking your clit that you let out a choked off shout, stopping the sound with your forearm against your mouth.

Your breath comes in short pants for a good few minutes as you lean up against a wall, not trusting your legs to hold you up as you try and recover, a fresh spike of arousal hitting you the moment you look down and see Austin's face glistening with your cum. Austin manages to push himself off the ground as you stare at him, his head tilting as he tries to get a read on you. You know you shouldn't know this is unwise but you can't help but messily kiss him, wanting to taste his tongue and taste how it mixes with your taste. He responds in kind, a growl forming in his chest as he tries to deepen it only to have you pull away and push him away from you.

"I'm- You might have ruined this night for me, Austin. Not- this. This was the only good thing I think you did." You shake your head, the anger you feel starting to push its way to the surface after your orgasm has cleared your head. "You kissing me is all everyone is going to talk about because you're still with Kaia." Austin starts to cut you off before you shake your head. "Even if you're broken up, no one knows that but the two of you. I didn't even know that and you decided to kiss me as I'm about to get an award I worked so hard on."

"Y/N- I-" He pauses and looks down at the ground apologetically. "I didn't mean for that to happen. I should have thought about it but I'm not going to apologize for kissing you. I wanted to kiss you, I've been wanting to kiss you-"

Your hand waves him off. "You could have, Austin, you could have broken up with Kaia ages ago or whenever you had this realization but you didn't. And now I look like a fool and like someone who you're cheating on your girlfriend with. Making your break up when it goes public look like my fault."

"Babe-" He starts before you glare at him, pulling up your underwear and straightening out your dress.

"Don't even think about it." Because he does not deserve to call you babe or baby or apologize with words like he's going to try to after what he's done tonight. "I'm- Austin- if you want to be with me like you seem to claim. Figure out what in the hell is going on with you and Kaia and whatever is going on with you as a person and come find me. I have to go answer a million questions about you kissing me now."

Your hand moves to open the door and you think about not looking back, think about walking out the door in a dramatic sort of huff before you sigh and look back. Austin's frowning as he stares at the floor, rubbing his head. Comforting him crosses your mind but you shake your head to yourself as you swing the door open, not even giving Austin the dignity of a farewell as you exit into the cacophony of noise outside the door.

[fenfyre]

[turtlecleric]

Bay!Raph x Reader; heavy angst; reader in peril; lots of hurt and very little comfort, if any; to be clear, Raph is not the bad guy in this one

CWs: graphic, drawn out sexual assault/non con, kidnapping, almost torture, non con choking/breath play and filming, murder, death, gore, seriously this is dark dark dark PLEASE don’t read if these topics are even slightly upsetting to you, reader has a terrible terrible time

-

They've got you tied up too well. You can't pull away, can't do anything but strain against the ropes uselessly. Your shoulders are already sore from the way your arms are secured behind your back. Your thighs are bound to your calves, so even if you did manage to pull away you wouldn’t be able to run. 

You can't stop shaking. You don't know why that fills you with so much shame.

The one behind you presses a kiss onto your shoulder. You lean away from him as far as you can, but he’s got you sitting in his lap and he’s perched on the edge of the bed, so you can’t go far without falling face first onto the dirty carpet of the motel room. Regardless, his hand curls around your jaw, tilting your head back and pulling you flush against him. He holds you there, your arms stuck between your back and his front, the back of your head pressed uncomfortably against his shoulder. Your skin crawls at the feeling of his lips against your neck, but when you squirm it only makes him hum into your skin appreciatively.

You try to remember what the guys have told you about being in this sort of situation, but… there’s only bits and pieces. Honestly, you hadn’t thought you would ever be in this sort of situation, despite their warnings. Despite Raph’s warnings.

You should’ve listened a bit more carefully. Then again, you woke up here. You don’t remember how you ended up with these guys, so… you don’t know what you could’ve done to avoid this. 

“Pretty, isn't she?” the one behind says.

“Too pretty to be a mutant's slut, that's for sure.”

Your eye is drawn to the one who responded, the tall blond that’s been rummaging around in the duffel bag on the opposite bed. It’s the first time you’ve heard him speak, and something about his voice - something you can’t put a name to - makes alarm bells sound in your head. Then he turns, and when you see what he’s holding your blood turns to ice.

A small remote. And a video camera.

The blond steps toward you, fiddling with the buttons on the remote and muttering something you can’t parse over the harsh breathing in your ear. The vibrator they've strapped to you turns on suddenly, and when you jolt and gasp the one behind you laughs, his breath hot against your neck. 

The blond towers over you, pointing the camera down at your face where it’s still held in place by the grip on your jaw. You can see the little red light that means it’s recording. “What was the freak’s name again?”

“Raphael,” the one behind says, a smile in his voice.

“That's right. Say hello to Raphael, baby. We're sending him a copy of this when we're through.”

Your eyes widen at that, and the blond huffs in amusement. He says something else, but you don’t catch any of it, too busy thinking about the fact that Raphael is going to see you naked and tied up in the arms of another man, he’s going to see whatever happens here, he’s going to see and hear and he’s going to-

The one behind you releases your jaw. He shifts you in his lap and holds your legs open, and the camera is aimed at the place between your legs. You can’t help the small “no” that slips from your mouth, the instinctual spasm of muscle as you try in vain to close your legs. 

“Don’t worry, pretty thing,” the blond says, reaching out his free hand to trail his fingers along your inner thigh. You’re still shaking. You hope it’s not visible on the camera. “We’re gonna have some fun.” 

No no no no no no no.

Your body flashes hot as your breathing picks up, as your eyes start to burn with tears. The blond makes a fake sound of sympathy before pushing two fingers inside you. The sudden, sharp pain makes you choke on an inhale, and you can’t help but whimper and squirm as he starts to pump them in and out. 

Fuck. Fuck. It hurts.

“Just like that,” he mutters. “Let him hear what we’re doing to you.” Your mind races, trying to think of something you can do. There has to be something. You can’t let them win. (Haven’t they already, though?) Maybe you can just- you can just try to minimize the impact of it all somehow. Yes, okay. You can do that. 

You press your lips together, trying to keep quiet. Trying to keep still. The blond must catch on, because he makes another sound - this one of disappointment - before he pulls his fingers out of you and stares down at you with a blank face. 

You don’t want to look at him. You don’t want to look at the camera that’s now aimed back at your face. You don’t want to look at anything in this dingy motel room, actually - so you close your eyes and try to imagine that you’re anywhere but here. There’s shuffling. Movement. You think of the last time you saw the guys. Game night. You’d won almost every time, and Leo had been so-

The clink of a belt shatters that thought. Your eyes fly back open to see the blond pull out his cock, already hard and leaking. He tilts his head at you, the corners of his lips pulling up into a smile, and aims the camera back between your legs. Your eyes grow impossibly wider and you open your mouth, but before you can speak he shoves his entire length inside of you in a quick thrust. You can’t help the scream that claws its way out of your throat - or any of the sounds that come after as he starts to pump in and out, in and out, in and out. 

You’ve never felt pain like this. Burning, sharp, raw - it hurts. Fuck, it hurts so much more than you could ever have imagined. And everything, every sensation, it’s too much. The hands palming at your chest, the lips on your neck, the constant painful drag as this stranger fucks you, the vibrator that does nothing to make any of this feel remotely good. Too much, it’s all too much. It hurts. It hurts, and you can’t stop crying, and Raphael is going to see this.

“Such a pretty little thing,” the one behind you murmurs into your neck. His breath ghosts along your skin, making you shiver with disgust; it smells of cigarettes and rot. “Bet she’s nice and tight, yeah?”

The one with the camera groans, thrusting into you faster. His voice is low and breathy when he speaks again. “If she comes on my cock that means she likes it, right? How would that feel, Raphael? Knowing that I made your little whore come for me?”

“Please,” you whimper. “Please stop.”

A hand presses over your mouth. “Shhh, it's okay, baby. We're gonna take care of you. And when we're done, the rest of the dragons will get a turn while we wait for loverboy to get his little gift.”

The words take a moment to sink in, but once they do your panic skyrockets. They're laughing, god, they're laughing while your heart threatens to beat right out of your chest, while this fucker's dick spears into you like a knife. It hurts. You can't focus. You can't think. You can't breathe.

You actually can't breathe, you realize belatedly. The one behind has your mouth and nose completely covered. Your struggling renews, more frantic this time, and again you hear laughter. Your pulse is a rapid, wild thing, and the pressure in your lungs, in your head, is all you can focus on. Your lungs are burning. Fuck, your head is going to explode. Maybe it already has, with these white dots sparkling in your vision. You keep trying to pull away, to move your head so that you can get even a tiny bit of access to air, but it's useless. Everything hurts, and they're laughing, and you can't fucking breathe. 

Are they… they're going to kill you. They're actually going to kill you, on camera, and then they're going to send the video to Raph while the rest of the Purple Dragons do whatever they want with your fucking body, and there's nothing you can do to stop it. 

You're going to die. You're going to die. You're-

The hand finally releases your face, and you gasp for air, desperately filling your lungs with blissful, sweet oxygen at last. They're still talking, but you can't make out the words. You can't. You can only focus on breathing, barely conscious of the pathetic wheezing sobs that are punching out of your chest. 

There's a rough tapping against your cheek. The one fucking you, he's talking to you now. You try to focus on what you're seeing, what you're hearing. The blond. He's talking to you. Focus. 

“-nt to breathe, baby? Huh? Alright, you get one: I'll let you breathe or I'll stop fucking you. Your choice.”

That's not a choice, you think blearily. He's just trying to get a rise out of Raph. He'll say something about how you want this, since you asked to breathe. 

Fuck that. 

You know you're going to regret this. You know. But suddenly rage swells in your chest and-

“I want you to stop fucking me, you piece of shit.” Surprise blooms across his face right before you spit in it, glaring with everything in you as he looks down at you in shock. A second passes, then his shock is replaced by fury as he wipes the spit from his cheek. 

He slaps you so hard your ears ring. The force jerks your head to the side, but then there's a hand covering your mouth and nose again. It's him, this time, and he pounds into you with renewed vigor. 

“You're getting fucked either way, princess,” he snarls. “You should've been smart and taken the out.” 

The seconds feel like hours as your lungs burn. Your torso spasms, the muscles in your arms struggling uselessly against the restraints. More laughter. More talking. He's still fucking you so hard your entire body is jolting with each thrust, but other than that you can't make sense of anything through the panic and the burning and the constant, desperate need for air. 

You're on the verge of passing out, you're sure, when they let you breathe again. Dizzy, exhausted, you beg for them to stop. Your own voice sounds garbled and strange. You don't even care what you sound like, everything fucking hurts. 

Again, his hand covers your mouth and nose. Again, you feel as if you’re dying. Again, he waits until you’re sure you’re going to die before he lets you breathe.

Pathetic, you hear, but you aren't sure if that's them or your own mind. 

Talking. He’s talking to you again. You try to focus, but you can’t. 

The hand returns.

On and on and on, again and again and again. Everything is awful, everything hurts, and sometimes you’re breathing, but most of the time there’s just the burning burning burning in your lungs, in your core, in your everything, everywhere, it’s too much and it hurts and you just want it to stop.

At some point the men switch. At some point they switch back. At some point you’re lifted, then placed onto the bed on your back. 

You can breathe, though, and that’s what matters. 

There’s more talking. Everything is blurry. Everything hurts. Too much. It’s too much. You can’t. Stop. Shaking.

Focus. Focus. 

The blond hovers over you, thrusting lazily into you. Where is…? You let your head fall to the side and see him. The other one. He’s sitting on the opposite bed, now in charge of filming, apparently. A hand grips your jaw, turning your face back toward the one hovering over you. “You keep your eyes on me, slut,” he says in a low voice. “Keep your eyes on me and I’ll let you breathe this time, okay?”

You don’t get a chance to respond.

Several things happen at once. First, there’s a loud BANG, accompanied by more light spilling into the room. Next, you see a weapon lodge itself directly into the neck of the man above you with a disgusting, wet sound. You have just enough time to recognize the weapon as a sai before the blond releases your jaw, reaching for his own neck. His hands hover in the air, unsure. It’s as he’s staring into your eyes - his face growing redder by the second, his torso spasming, guttural, wheezing sounds coming from his throat - that you realize the irony.

He can’t breathe.

More sound to your left. There’s a blur of movement that you can’t make sense of. You can’t tell what’s happening - and then suddenly the blond is gone. You don’t even know where he went, but he isn’t on top of you anymore. He isn’t inside of you anymore. There’s a series of thuds. Grunts. Visceral crunches and the sound of splatters and- you don’t know, you don’t know, you can’t tell what’s happening.

“Raph, enough!”

Raph. Raph is here. And Leo, too, that’s who said that. You try to look around, but you… can’t. You can’t get your muscles to cooperate. You can only let your head fall to the side, and you see the man’s body sprawled on the opposite bed. Not the blond, the other one. His… his head. It’s gone. Blood is spraying out of his neck in spurts, soaking into the sheets of the bed, and you don’t know why, you don’t know why, but you feel like you can’t breathe again. 

You close your eyes, but it does nothing to erase the sight of the decapitated man. He’s still got the camera in his hand. 

There’s more talking. This time, though… it’s familiar. Arguing, sure, and pretty much yelling rather than talking, but still. The sound of it helps you to breathe a little slower. 

Someone says your name. Soft, and sad, and quiet. You open your eyes to see Donnie’s face, his eyes wide and worried. What is he worried about? Maybe you can help.

Oh. Right. 

What’s wrong with you?

You try to smile at him, but his expression twists into something that makes your smile drop. You feel more than see him releasing you from the restraints. The relief in your sore muscles is overwhelming, but… you’re feeling a bit strange, actually. “Donnie,” you whisper. “What’s wrong with me?”

He responds, but you… aren’t sure what he said. You can’t keep your eyes open. That’s odd, right? Maybe you should be… more worried about that. 

“Where’s Raph?” you ask. 

You don’t know what the words are, but you hear Raph’s response. He’s here. He’s here, and… it’s going to be okay now. It’s going to be okay now. Right?

“Yeah, shorty,” someone says. Not someone. Raph. Wait, Raph is here? He sounds… devastated. What’s going on? “It’s gonna be okay. I’ve got you.”

[syn4k]

musings upon the paradox of hope; being an Ashes webweave

@SICKOFWOLVES / Soft Science, Franny Choi / Untitled poem from our poetry document / In the Absence of Hands, Yours will Hold Second Best / Glowing by The Oh Hellos / morningsaidthemoon / (i'll tend to the flames, you can worship the) ashes